radical thinking lolz

its been a while when my feelings and my brain level has stuck to being in a state of decomposition(intially i intended to say rottan but you i am differnt hihhhii) i wanted to wite this one blog on a very serious note but like i mentioned my fellings and my brains in suc a state that i cant really tell what i am feeling anymore
i am on a verge of being operated again and i am shitt scared, last time surprizing i wasnt but the fact i can feel everything during thoses agonising 2 hrs while my body is being merciless cut and my blood is literally gushing out .....i am really scared
my superman (for the tuned out folks my superman is my 1st hero my 1st angel my big bro)will be by my side but he cant exchange my pain he can joke around treat me like a princess will kiss me , pamper me silly all tis will make me forget momentarily but i know how bad the pain is
there are a hell lot of other things on my already confused mind but for now adios
i wish a safe operation for myself n hopefully i dont cry this time on the operation table

this year 2 of my close chums got hitched and by the end of this year n early next 3 more r tying the knot i get all perky when i m not a mere spectator in weddings i love to do work .......... surprized....... yeah i enjoy being of help but not helping myself weird i know .. m exactly that
but yeah that kicked some serious thinking bug in my head i mean seeing others get married a few of my frns have started cribbing when will i get hitched , but really getting married n me ......... its still a major question when ever we attend any function or get together s all my family members start gin unwanted suggestions of guys who r suitable for me i feel like running away from there

m still a solid year n 2 mths away fm being 25 yet people are like kab karegi shaadi jaise lyf mein aur kuch bakki hi nahi hai. iwont lie but at times the lonelyness buggs me getting into a empty bed sucks ,if only i could get a big teddy whos warm n cosy my problem solved hummmmm

but really why do people get married when the divorce rates are so high plus now the buget says legal counsel expenditure is going to raise toh kyun karna bhai
i dont know whether my opinion on marriage will change or not but maybe it can be influenced but not so soon least lolzzz
there are many roads i wanna go
theres are many things i wanna see
there too many things that fill my senses
too many miles to go b4 i die